Categories
Satire

About Me

[strong language]

Welcome to my Site!

My name is Jay. I’m a very rich guy, which means you should listen to what I say, because I’m obviously smarter than you.

And since I’m a really nice guy, I’m going to tell you a little secret. If you want to make big money, you have to be careful because the system is rigged. So this is what you do: the secret to getting rich is to work hard. Got it? That’s what my super rich daddy taught me, and I’m telling you it now for free. And since it was me who told you the secret, you should definitely send me monthly donations to thank me for basically saving your filthy little ass from poverty.

While we’re at it, I should tell you that I hate poor people. Poor people are lazy: they don’t even try to work. For instance, there is my uncle Bob. This guy worked in a factory for 35 years, and then the factory was moved to China. See how fucking lazy Bob was? The factory went to China, but he decided to stay here and say that he couldn’t find a job. Dude, your job is in China! Go get it, you moron! It’s literally waiting for you!

Anyway, doesn’t matter now. After a couple of years of Uncle Bob pretending he couldn’t find work, his wife had enough of his bullshit and left him. Uncle B started drinking and later killed himself. And that is so fucking typical. I mean, if I was a worthless unemployed drunk, I think I would kill myself too. It’s obvious that he killed himself because he was ashamed of being a lazy ass. So take it from me: just know your role and go to work, and one day you are guaranteed to be rich like me. Trust me, it’s guaranteed.

Enjoy my blog, and don’t forget to support me on patreon!